ive got alot on my mind today.

quite frankly, ive been doing alot of thinking today.
&let me tell you there are good and bad parts.
good thing is, i think my friend & i are chill.
i think.
we`ll see how things play out.
personally i believe theyre still a little shaky, but its getting better.

bad thing is, im really disappointed in a few others.
i thought he/she had a bit more class then this, but i guess i was wrong.
i hate how you can get so caught up in what someone tells you,
that you dont realize that all of it could just be bullshit answers.
it makes you think twice about what people tell you.
especially what they tell you about themselves, cause thats what they tend to lie about the most.
&i admit, im a sucker for falling into those traps.
cause im always the one that wants to give everyone a chance.
then i get fucked over cause i believe in the honor system & get lied to.
i fall for it each time.
why ? im not so sure.
i guess its because i dont want to be afraid to let people in.
but maybe i should.
it makes me sick to think of every moment that i actually believed that they were telling the truth.
when i look at it now, im just like wow, im such a blind dumbass for not seeing that they were full of shit.
whatever.
im over it.
they can go on deceiving people. i dont care anymore.

&as a side note// last note,
i think im changing as a person.
&at the moment, i cant tell if its good or bad yet.
although part of me wants to say its bad.
oh boy.